“Feed a man pasta and you have fed him for a day, teach a man to cook pasta, and you will amaze his wife.”
What is the church of the flying spaghetti monster?
He Boiled For Your Sins.
With millions of believers worldwide, The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the world’s fastest growing religion. Followers of the faith, Pastafarians, have been preaching the message of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) ever since The Prophet Bobby Henderson’s Open Letter to the Kansas School Board captivated the internet in 2005. As a response to a decision to teach creationism alongside evolution in science classes statewide, Mr. Henderson argued, if these two theories are to be given equal time in biology classes, then it would only be fair to teach other creation beliefs as well. Specifically, the Pastafarian belief that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe a few thousand years ago.
Pastafarians do acknowledge that there is overwhelming observable evidence that shows the universe is likely billions of years old, however they believe this evidence was put in place by The FSM in order to trick scientists. They also believe that the dramatic increase in the earth’s average temperature over the last 200 years is caused by none other than the reduction in the Pirate population, since the correlation between the two is undeniable. Not convinced? Look at this chart....
With this irrefutable evidence in hand, their holy mission is to increase the pirate population in order to combat climate change (more pirates = cooler planet). Successful completion of this mission grants them access to the Pastafarian concept of Heaven, where a beer volcano and a stripper factory await them. Pastafarian Hell also contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory, but the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.
The film begins In January 2016, when The Netherlands granted official recognition as a "religion" to the Kerk van het Vliegend Spaghettimonster. With this recognition, Mienke, Sam, Mathé, Dirk Jan, and other members of the church began their crusade to get access to the same rights Dutch law affords other recognized religions, starting with the right to wear religious headwear in their driver’s license photos.
Battling in Dutch courts, their lawyer makes the case that Pastafarianism is just as rational a belief system as any other religion, therefore Pastafarians should be able to express their faith in the same way as all other religions. What is a “real religion” anyway?
Meanwhile, in a small town outside Berlin, Germany, Rüdiger Weida, aka Bruder Spaghettus, fights a similar fight. As the leader of the Kirche des Fliegenden Spaghettimonster, he would also like to share in the rights of the other Churches in Germany: to post a sign showing the time and location of his weekly faith service, Noodlemass, held at the first physical Pastafarian Church. In Full Pirate Regalia (the chosen attire of the German Pastafarians) he faithfully evangelizes the teachings of the FSM.
Like any other religion, Pastafarians have a Supernatural Deity, a Prophet, and lessons of morality written in holy scriptures. Unlike other religions, Pastafarianism seems to have forgone the hate, bigotry, violence, and instead focuses their faith on one simple dogma: there is no dogma. This explains why some Pastafarians choose to dress like Pirates, while others choose wearing a colander to express their religious identity. Wearing the Colander was not a commandment from their Noodly God, it was the divine revelation of Niko Alm, member of the Austrian Parliament, and the first person to successfully win the right to express his Pastafarian faith in his driver’s license photo.
While other religions are conflicted with fitting the morality of their scriptures as it was written in ancient times with the ethics of today, the Pastafarians ethical teachings evolve as society evolves. They do not hate those who have different beliefs, they do not judge on basis of sexual preference, and their God does not require sacrifice. These loose moral guidelines are highlighted in their version of the Ten Commandments, the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.
I, Pastafari is a story about a few brave Pastafarians, evangelizing the message of the FSM, while fighting against intolerant skeptics, for the freedom to access religious privileges in law granted to other “real” religions. In a time of flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, fake news, and alternative facts, the Pastafarians may be the savior the world has been waiting for. R’Amen.